{Quality of a Date Night}

Dating can be both a lotta work and a lotta fun.

It doesn't matter if you're single and looking -- going on blind dates and first dates. (Ahh,

remember first kisses? ♥) Or if you're married and busier then you sometimes want to be

with kids, work and life.

David and I are somewhere in between. We don't have kids. So, that gives us built-in time

that a lot of couples don't have. But we've been together for over a decade now. So, it's very

easy to stay in, watch TV, drift into different rooms, and do our own activities. Sometimes

it's nice to be able to be near each other but not totally interact. It's comfortable and real.

But years together and that sense of being comfortable can start flirting with a roommate-

like relationship. (Enter jaws music.) Let's face it, there's not a lot of mystery left after

certain experiences have been had. You've seen each other naked from every imaginable

angle, both sexy and practical. And you've witnessed each other at your best, but also,

your worst. Sick, hot, messy, mad, sad, wrong, angry, weak.

It can be amazing because you know each other like no one else on the planet does, but

there's not much mystery to hide behind either. It's like you cross that line where you're

sitting on the couch next to your partner and you take off your bra -- only there's no longer

anything sexy about it. Your agenda isn't to seduce but rather to free yourself from your

underwire after a long day. Blah.

Dating can help "bring the sexy back". It creates a pause in your life. The pause is an

opportunity for you to notice each other and connect. And romance is just nice. It's gets

the heart beating, the blood racing and puts you on notice that you need to try a little bit.

David and I thought we were onto something when we set a resolution in 2010 to go on

at least one date a month. Obviously, a date a month isn't breaking any records, and

we were usually able to go on more than that. It felt good to have that goal as a couple

to create "us time", and we had some really nice dates.

But looking back over the year, I realized we didn't always focus on the quality of our date

nights very much. We'd do dinner, and often, it was at Pita Jungle because it was easy -- we

already knew we liked it, it was casual, and it didn't take much thought. A lot of those

nights, we were tired and we didn't embrace the pause our date was affording us.


(Photo credit: Google Images)

So, as we were approaching 2011, I asked David if he'd be interested in making another,

possibly more meaningful, date resolution. The idea: We plan one date a month that's something fun, different and exciting. We alternate months so we're each only planning six dates a year. Totally doable!

Here's what I love about this plan.

* It gets both of us engaged in date night.

* We'll get to surprise each other six times a year with our date ideas.

* It's a push to try new things or fun things we haven't done in a long time.

* The excitement of doing new things together will likely encourage a deeper connection.

* Knowing that the other person put some effort into planning it, hopefully will motivate

each of us to be more present in the date itself.

I'm tellin' ya, this might be my best idea in recent history. I'm so excited about it!

Tonight will be our first specially planned date of 2011. ♥ We're going to a drive-in theater

for a double feature to see "No Strings Attached" and "The Fighter". Neither of us have

ever been to a drive-in before, and the weather is perfect for it in Phoenix right now.

I'm looking forward to snuggling in the car while we snack on a picnic and enjoy the

shows! I'm even hoping to kiss a little during intermission. ♥♥♥

{Happy Anniversary, Mr. Link}

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary!

On this day, seven years ago, I walked down the aisle in a flurry of tears -- overwhelmed

with the emotion of all the people that were there to support us and the fact that I was about

to marry my best friend. It was an amazing day, and I love that that every detail from it is

part of our story.

I surprised David with a hot air balloon ride on Saturday to celebrate. This year, I focused

on buying an experience over things, and it paid off. We had so much fun. We got to do

something new together that was completely exhilarating.

We loved that part of the ride was helping get the balloon ready for flight. There were

about five other balloons at Tumbleweed Park that morning. We were with Mike and

Theresa on the blue and white Morningstar.

Before I knew it, we were in the basket, and it was no longer touching the ground. It was

amazing how fast we went up -- pretty surreal -- all the way to 2,200 feet above ground

level. There was nothing but the wooden floor of a little basket under our toes.

Hello, heart beat.

To steer the balloon, our pilot raised and lowered us to different levels in the sky. He tested

each one to see which way the wind sheer would move us. He could also get information on

directions by watching other balloons in the sky. Cool stuff.

We started looking for a good place to land just as I began to feel comfortable way up in the

sky. :) The ride itself was about an hour long.

As if all that wasn't enough, Theresa put together a beautiful breakfast tail gate for us.

Mike told us an embellished and entertaining version of the history of hot air ballooning

while we enjoyed it. It was an all around fabulous way to spend a morning!

Admittedly, the idea to do a hot air balloon ride, in part, came from running low on

ideas after 11 and a half years together. That's a lot of meaningful anniversary, Christmas,

birthday, and Valentine's gifts to come up with. I really enjoyed thinking out of the box a

little, and it was such a fun gift to give. If you're in the area and want to book a flight, I'd

totally recommend the company we booked our ride through. They provided a fabulous experience from beginning to end. Click on Aerogelic Ballooning or call 1.866.Fly.Tday.

{They Do}

I had a chance to go to a wedding as half guest, half photographer
in late February. I met Theresa and Joe -- the bride and groom --
through Lindsay. They had a professional handle the ceremony
with his fancy flash and large lenses. I fluttered around all day
and captured what I could, with a focus on the reception. There
was a great deal of love present there. So, it was a gorgeous day.
Plus, I had fun and got in some good practice. I was absolutely
honored they asked and happy to help out.

I didn't pose anything. Just took it as it happened.
Here's a look at just a few:



















































Congratulations, Theresa and Joe!

{It Breaks My Heart}

Marriage can be amazing.

Marriage can also be really hard work.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about my marriage and
working on making it healthier and happier, especially in
the past year.

I can't imagine someone else telling me I have to get a
divorce.

This video make me so tearful.

What kind of society do we live in -- what kind of
democracy is this -- if we begrudge our fellow human
beings anything less then absolute equality?


"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

One upon a time...
Nazi's killed Jews, women couldn't vote, black people were
considered subhuman and held as slaves. Discrimination was
never right then, and it isn't right now.

If you care to exercise your voice but haven't had a chance
to, click here.

{Today is the Day!}

My dear friends Michael and Lindsay are going to
become parents today at precisely 12:30 PM
Arizona time. Teagan and Boston have created
quite a stir in the past months while they've been
growing in their mama's belly. I'm so looking
forward to meeting those girls. I wanted to wish
all four of the Morenos a healthy, safe day!

***********************

UPDATE: The girls arrived and are doing great
in their tiny, preciousness! I just posted some
photos and info on Lindsay's blog if you wanna
check it out ... Click here.

{Dear Diary...}

I thought this msn.com article had some pretty good romantic
ideas that can be used any day of the year.

1. Stuff a little love note in your sweetie's pocket, sock,
or shoe. For maximum impact, try email.

2. Secretly load a photo of the two of you as the desktop
wallpaper on your honey's computer.

3. Burn a CD with tunes from your dating days and include
your first dance (or favorite) song.

4. Buy a heart-shaped cookie-cutter and use it to make toast
the next morning.

5. Look up the date of the next full moon and celebrate with
a champagne toast.

6. Learn to ice skate or in-line skate together. This works
best when both of you are beginners — the more clinging to
each other, the better.

7. Hate basketball and your main squeeze is addicted to it?
Get tickets to a game. Despise musicals? Surprise your sweetie
with tickets to a show. Go against the grain, and endure with
grace and cheer.

8. Spend the day at a museum, holding hands.

9. Forget breakfast in bed. Have dinner in bed (and don't
worry about the crumbs).

10. Go to bed early. No books, no magazines, no remote control.

11. Tell a secret — it'll bring you closer.

12. Create your own cocktail together. Then make up a name for
it by combining your two names.

13. Write "I Love You" on the steamy mirror while your beloved
is in the shower.

14. Go to a bookstore or music store together, then split up.
Your mission: Buy something you know your sweetie will love.
Then, wrap and exchange.

15. Have a picnic. It doesn't have to be outdoors, it can be
on your living room floor.

16. Absence is an aphrodisiac. Spend a weekend without each
other (sub your best pal, your sister, your old college roommate)
and plan to meet back at your place after 48 hours apart.

17. Teach each other about something the other knows nothing
about. He can teach her all the rules of chess, or how to make
a perfect omelet. She can teach him ten phrases in French and
how to use the digital camera.

18. Get away from it all close to home — spend a night in a
very luxurious hotel or cozy bed-and-breakfast in your own
city.

19. Get dressed together — choose each other's attire (for
work, for dinner out, whatever). Then, later, get undressed
together.

20. Find your sweetie's car in the parking lot and tuck a
love note under the windshield wiper.

When's the last time you did something to spice up your
love life -- letting your special other know you're thinking
of them? What spontaneous, romantic things have you tried
lately?

{Reality Bites}

Big changes afoot.
I've started writing this post ten times;
Trying to find a way to express myself
without engaging in full disclosure. I've
decided this isn't the time or place for
a complete unzipping, but I do want to
share some of what's happening. We're
dealing with real life moments, and I
don't think it's genuine or healthy to
pretend like nothing is going on. So,
this is what I've come up with for a
happy medium in the sharing department...

Life has dealt us some large road bumps lately.
Curves.
Pot holes.
Detours.
Traffic jams.
Ten car pile ups, if you will.
The resulting turns we've taken are translating
into a reality check requiring soul searching on
both our parts.

I've been taking Lexapro since mid-January. I think
it's helping; (although I may look into switching to
something else as I think I should be able to expect
more from two pills a day). Why share this?

One, it's where I am right now, and this is where I
share. If I only include happy times and sunshine --
this isn't a very realistic portrayal of my life. What
would be the point of that? Two, I think a lot
of people go through times in life when they need
to reach out for help. I'd like to send the message
that you shouldn't be ashamed if you're in that place.
When shit happens, it can be messy. My life cleaner
of choice right now includes seeking temporary relief
through "happy pills". I'm not looking for a miracle
solution though -- I've enlisted a few other elements
that I hope will act as a combined remedy.

I've pulled out of school for the semester; Which
means I'm not going to graduate in December as
planned. I'm deeply disappointed with that. But
I can't give school the focus and attention it deserves
right now. So, I've chosen to open a window for
myself in hopes that I can instead give my complete
attention to our issues and find a solution to them.
I want to be able to move forward with focus and
peace. I will be getting back to classes this summer,
making it a short break. I am still working at my
internship about 20 hours a week through the end
of April.

David and I have also decided to start seeing a
therapist together. I think it's a wonderful
decision we're both really excited about. We met
with Jeff Krehl for the first time this past Friday and
found it to be very comfortable. I've done some
pretty extensive therapy on my own, (2001-2003).
This is the first time we've done it together. After
nine years in a relationship, it seems we have a few
things to work on -- individually and as a couple.
It will be nice to have someone to guide us through
it all. I'm looking forward to the journey, and I have
high hopes for what we'll be able to accomplish.

Please Step into My Time Machine

Have to do a bit of back tracking -- to Saturday, November 3rd.

Lindsay's best friend, Kelly, flew in that weekend from Colorado.
So, we packed in as much prewedding-celebration as possible.

Thing started off with a bridal brunch. Such a nice day! We
had it at Lindsay's mom's house, which was perfect.
Good food, good people, and lots of fabulous gifts to help
the bride and groom get started in their new life together.
Kim Kwan was nice enough to snap a few while I helped
with the gifts...














Kelly, hosting one of the games we played.


Present, presents, presents!


Lindsay and her mom


This is Crystal, Michael's older sister, with the cupcake
book she won as a prize during the first game. That's M's
grandma to the left, and his other sister Becky to the right.


The food table -- we had four kinds of quiche, cinnamon rolls,
fancy cookies, fruit salad, and poppy seed bread. Delicious.


Diane made a bouquet with all the ribbons from the gifts
for Linds to use at the rehearsal. She did such a good job!


Lindsay's mom, Diane. Isn't she darling?
Here she is with the prize she won during the second game.
We each had to write something Lindsay and Michael
could use in their vows, (and then Lindsay chose her
favorite). For example, Michael could say: Lindsay, I
will honor and cherish you, and by that I mean I will
make sure we always have a scrapbook room in any house
we ever live in. It was a fun game -- really sweet.


Reading the vows we wrote for them


That's me standing in the background.
This is the only photo I managed to sneak into.
Thought I better prove I was there!


Bre and Kim


See those little legs - at the right foot of the bed?
That's Lindsay's two week old nephew, James.
PRECIOUS! I totally had I-want-a-baby-cravings
after seeing him. Those new wisps of hair. Those
tiny toes. That little butt. His itty bitty lips. Agh -- so sweet!


Diane got my vote for best wrapped gift. Not that we had a
contest -- I was just judging all of them in my own mind. :)
She took stamps to white wrapping paper -- covering it with
Lindsay and Michael, xoxo, LOVE, kiss, hearts, etc.
She even mixed the paint herself to get the dark purple of
Lindsay's wedding colors. So clever. It's been fun to see how
excited she is for Lindsay.

We all left there and headed in our own directions to regroup
for round two of the festivities. Everyone met at my
house at 5PM for some fun, girly time. We had a sex toy
party (scandalous!) and lots of wine to set the mood.


Kim licking some tasty body stuff off her hand. She was
so funny at the sex toy party! That's Courtney looking on.


Me with the bachelorette at my house.


Kelly with the bachelorette at my house.


Sitting next to L's mom at the sex
toy party was priceless. Diane is
hilarious! She had us rolling...


Lindsay opening her sexy gifts.


Another one!


Lindsay and Michael's initials -- much needed for the
dedicated scrapbooker




Gotta have porn


Lindsay with Kelly and me, her matrons-of-honor!

Then it was off to the bars. A friend of ours, Steve Cooper,
was kind enough to give up his night to drive us so we could
drink and not think about anything else but having fun. What
an angel. Seriously.

We had SUCH a good time! Lindsay and I haven't ever really
gone out like that together -- when we do have a drink, which
isn't often at all, it's a glass of wine or something low key. Not
on the 3rd. No sir. The fact that we are both totally out of
practice when it comes to going to clubs did not slow us down
one iota.



We danced. Drank. Flirted with random boys. Danced and drank
some more. And we laughed a LOT. I mean, a LOT. It was such
fun, good, needed, silly, free, fabulous girl time.





Lindsay and Michael are just days away from saying their
I Dos. December 1st. Next weekend will be fun --
rehearsal and bowling on Friday, wedding on Saturday.
Should be good times!

Lindsay -- in the next week -- take lots of deep breaths,
have a cup of tea and find quiet moments. The work is done
-- now you can just focus on the big step you and Michael
are about to take! Happy week before your wedding, girl!

As for me...it won't be such a quiet week.
It all hit me Monday morning, after a totally indulgent and
relaxing long weekend, that I have a ton of stuff to do!
Exams, papers, homework, a speech, registration changes,
internships paperwork, our anniversary, getting ready for
the wedding this weekend, getting ready for Christmas...

I decided though to wait to jump on it until Tuesday morning
so we could enjoy moms last night here (Monday). She just
left this morning though. So, it's time to get seriously focused
-- at least from Tuesday to Thursday so I can help Lindsay
and Michael celebrate next weekend! After the wedding, I
might not resurface until after the 12th when this semester
is over. Whew!