Wednesday, March 14, 2012

{LinkAdventure Meets a Fork in the Road}

Well, hell-o!

My, it's been awhile.

I went from posting almost daily, at my most active blogger
moments, to not posting much at all in second half of 2012.

Why, you ask?

In the words of the great Bob Dylan, "The times they are a-changin'."
Yes, there's been an upheaval at LinkAdventure.
David and I have gone our separate ways.



Of course, this is not the platform for a open-hearted discussion about how and where
things went off the rails. No need to play the blame game or break out a score card.

It just is.

What I can tell you is this ...

I spent my entire adult life with David. We've been together since I was 21 -- just a baby!
Our almost 13 year relationship and eight years of marriage accounted for over a third of
my life.

Now, I am 34, soon-to-be officially divorced and single for the first time since I was 19.

Holy moly.

Together, D and I moved from Michigan to Texas to Arizona to Ireland and back to Arizona
again. My most recent move -- 30 miles away from our house in Chandler -- seemed like
the biggest transition of all.

It felt good and right to stay in Arizona though. It's home for me now. I found a quaint little
1950's rental house in the Historic District of downtown Phoenix.

Everyone wants to know what we've done with "the kids." Norah and Oliver are living with
me. Killian stayed with David. It was a hard choice for which there is no perfect solution.
We're all adjusting to it though.

I'm slowly getting settled and familiar with my new side of town. Moving out of the 'burbs
and into a more vibrant, artistic, eclectic city will be fun. There is so much to explore
and such a great deal of positive energy and motion up here. Plus, I'm super close to work,
which is amazing. I feel like I chose a really good spot, considering I had to make a move.

I've learned real change is messy, powerful, epiphany-filled, exciting, and
terrifying. "All great changes are preceded by chaos," said Deepak Chopra. My life must be preparing for a major renovation because, boy, has it ever been a place of amazing chaos!

Since May, I've been going through what I guess is "the process."
Crying
Denying
Grieving
Hoping
Crumbling
Feeling numb
Feeling anger
Drinking
Talking
Admitting
Letting go
Accepting
Reminiscing
Crying some more
Detaching
Planning
Evaluating
Moving as fast as possible so as to not think or feel
Attempting to concentrate (sometimes a seemingly monumental task)
Preparing
Feeling joy
Packing
And shopping -- lots and lots of shopping :)

There are still decisions to be made. Specifically, if I'll change my last name and what to do
with LinkAdventure. I started this blog six years ago when we moved to Ireland as a way
to share what we saw and did in the land of 40 Shades of Green. Since then, it's been a
chronicle of our current adventures -- big and small. I guess I'll get clarity on these things
in due time. I'll be sure to let you know when I get it sorted. :)

And with that, LinkAdventures evolves.

We got to a fork in the road and the decision was made to take different paths. Now,
David will make his life. I will make mine. Our journey together is coming to an end.

My new hope is this: We are individually better from our time on this Earth together. And because of who we helped each other become, we'll be able to accept happiness and the
possibilities that await each of us in the future.

Thanks for listening.

And D ... I'll always love you.

6 comments:

elizabeth said...

I'm sorry things have been so rough for you Sam :( I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and things will eventually work out, but it doesn't make the process any easier. Hang in there friend! xo

Lindsay Teague Moreno | 5ive Photo said...

Well, I love ya Sam! I know you're gonna come out of this shining...like always! :)

L

Cottage Sisters said...

I am so sorry Samara that things didn't work out. I agree with Elizabeth....everything happens for a reason. You both got this far together that must mean that is as far as you two were supposed to go together. Now there are new adventures waiting for you! Best wishes, Denise

Olivia said...

Been thinking about you over the last several months. I'm sorry things had to end this way. Good luck Sam :)

Hendricks Family said...

Feel the Hendricks love!! Today and always :)

Ale said...

Interesting enough. I just started scrolling back into your blog since you haven't updated it and I miss you so I wanted to read you and guess what, discovered all the posts that I didn't read before. I am reading this one that happened exactly the day that Sebastian was born. Isn't that something? how the world evolves? a new life came into my world, a new path of life came into yours? wow. I am thinking about you honey. Love always!